by Billy Roper

We’re all trying to save money these days, and after expending hundreds of millions of dollars in attacking both Syria and Afghanistan recently, that’s true for the Trump administration and our tax dollars, as well. The construction materials alone for building the badly needed and greatly desired border wall we were promised during the campaign would be very expensive, so in doing my civic duty, I’d like to propose a realistic method by which the Federal government could be rid of ALL of the illegal immigrants currently in our country, as well as get the wall built: stack them like cord wood.

In order to build a border wall 2,000 miles long, we could use the bodies of the 20 million Mexicans currently living in the United States and serving no other useful purpose. Twenty million Mexicans divided by 2,000 miles equals 10,000 greasy spics per mile. With 5,280 feet in a mile, and considering the average Mestizo being five feet tall, that’s 1,056 Indios needed per mile, per layer. So, the 10,000 corpses would provide more than nine layers of border security. Even after decomposition, each Mexican body would be over one foot thick. That would result in a border security wall over nine foot tall, from one ocean to the other! Of course, these numbers are rounded off greatly, and throwing in OTHER Hispanic groups could make the wall even higher. Additionally, the wall would have a marked deterrent effect to future illegal immigration, one could presume. For aesthetic purposes, flower seeds could be intermingled with the corpses, and then be fertilized by them, so that a wall of beautiful blossoms would decorate the southern border, from the Gulf of Mexico to the Pacific Ocean. Just imagine how gorgeous that would be from the air!

Of course, I know that a lot of you are already thinking of many decorative and functional uses which our black, Asian, and Jewish residents could be applied to, as well, but we’ll leave those suggestions for a future article.