“Does this bike make me look fat?”
Testing the tire pressure on this showroom model, as well as the seams of his plus-sized jeans, is Colter Wyatt Fitzner, 22, an Antifa member who showed up to support the Communist anti-second amendment side of the recent gun-grabbing march in Bentonville, Arkansas, where he resides. It IS a step up from his bicycle. Linda, Lisa, Dorothy, and Jr must be proud of his anti-White angst. This is the quality of recruits Antifa gets in NorthWest Arkansas, now that we’ve begun unmasking them. It’s hard to believe that such a specimen is single, but hey ladies, he likes the Fresh Prince and Teletubbies, long talks about the dictatorship of the proletariat, and can keep you warm in the winter and shaded in the summer. He also isn’t at all picky about whom he hangs out with. Colter’s struggle is real, to “Fight Gentrification With Revolution” and fight the scales with Krispy Kreme. Well, even if he doesn’t ever get a girlfriend, we’ll still be there for Colter, every time he gets a job or shows his chins in public.